So I'm looking up stuff on Constantine, hoping there might be some redeeming features. Yeah. I found some photos that looked good. Keanu's got a cigarette in his hand and he's got the suitable attitude. Cool, I thought. Looks like it might be okay.
Then I'm reading an interview and I find this:

The next scene is he's in bed with a half breed demon drinking whiskey with scratches on his back and the scene ends with her tail kind of swishing underneath the sheets laughing, going, "Lung cancer? Ha! That's funny, John!" So hopefully we have the spirit of the Constantinian factor. I'm always asking, "Is that Constantinian enough?" I think I need more Constantine in my Constantine.

Yeah. That's fucking retarded. Then I watch the trailer. God. The 'love interest' character says to Keanu 'I don't believe in the devil'. So what does Keanu say? He says: 'You should. He believes in you.' I could crap better writing than that.