They usually start like this. First off I just don't feel right, like there's something wrong my senses. My mind feels like it's lfoating about a foot over my body. Then I start having difficulty seeing things. I have to really concentrate on something to look at it, then great big chunks of my vision go missing and I have to rely on concentrating around the gaps to see what I'm doing or where I'm going. The chunks gradually form into these blurred lines that look like scars. They're not stable, but move and shimmer with color and block out everything that's under them. The first time that happened I was about thirteen and it frightened the fuck out of me. The stage after that is pain. I usually lie down and pretened I'm asleep during all that, like if I pretend hard enough I'll convince myself to sleep through it all.